(Anna, then Elma and Lilian standing at San Francisco, Califorinia, Nov 2010)Today I will write about my gift of faith. It is true that faith is a gift, look around you, some of you reading this blog probably doesn't possess what I have possess. This is not bragging, but all of us children of God has this gift, but some don't want it for so many reason, only them knows why, some people have thrown this gift because they have lost faith in God, for their broken family and relationships and failures. They blame God. Maybe in some point of their lives they believe they have prayed so hard and believe they were not answered and from then on they throw everything that will remind them of God. And they be friended with hatred... and they live their life from then on without God and no peace could be found.
My personal life experience, faith was and is very essential and help me grow spiritually, and I was strengthen in spite of storm of hardships. My life was not a fairy tale either. I grow up very poor, but in a loving home and discipline and was molded with faith in God. My father believe that their is a God. But not a church goer; my mother was a firmed believer but she too had also been away from the church during my childhood. She goes to church on special occasion like Fiesta, our baptism, and Christmas or during funeral people we know.
At a very young age of 4, I can remember already I love to go to church. At 6 yrs old me and my 7 yrs old sister would hold hands and walk a half a mile to attend Sunday Mass. I have already felt a strong faith in God, even though I don't see God, and I never question why I don't see God. I just say because He is God. Church to me is better than home because it is place of worship and I believe the tabernacle houses the Holy Eucharist which is Jesus Himself.
Growing up I was not that good kid you can appreciate with proper demeanor, I was not as good compare to my older sister. I am jealous and rebellious... My life growing up being the poorest is so difficult, especially when I was a student from elementary to college, but unknowingly being poor is a big teacher to me to have "faith" in everything, that its gonna be okay; applies to this day, that God will take care of the rest. And He does. Sufferings teaches me endurance. I come to know this now... And today my sufferings becomes an oblation also offered to God, in reparation to my sin and for my family and friends that are still very far from God.
I have experienced the death of a fiance, and after that chapter, had many failed relationships and many more failures down the road I have walked on... faith was a vital anchor that tied me in Heaven where I believe God dwells, and with all my hardships and trials, prayers, tears and sometimes anger, and even transgressions was heard by God... But as long as I am alive I accept and believe and have faith in God, that He is not just watching, but participating in my life. Because I have learned to view sufferings that turns eternal joy and graces for others and for myself. And because I believe in Him, I have H O P E... that man's final frontier is in God, in Heaven. Not in limbo or space and nothingness. That after this exile, and life on earth, I will triumph and my search will be over. The longing to be love by friends, relatives and family, even though I am loved by them, but that alone is not satisfying enough; only God can satisfy this unexplainable thirst to be loved unconditionally. Because His love is unfathomable, ecstasy that last eternally, pure, and the only ONE whom understood me who am.
So, you see, I don't waste my time being ignorant, I educate myself, a good readings that will increase my faith. From Bible and new revelations in our time. This I know is good, it guides me to be good to reach where I anchored my faith, in GOD.
Some of you may think I am too religious and you hated me for talking to you about God. If you are angry, it does make me feel sad (but I also do what God's will, to be my brother and sister's keeper), but I wish I can lend you my heart how happy I am with the thoughts of God and His love (know this though I pray for you so you will also have this gift if you have abandon yours). Do not think though that I think my life is perfect because I follow the path to holiness, it is not, but I unite myself to Jesus today in this rescue mission for souls.
Sometimes this also cross my mind.... would you be convinced what I say is the truth if I am very rich person? (Because the voice of a poor one often not being listen to). I also reflect that Material riches still leaves you a huge hole in your chest without God. The reason you see rich people buy so much stuff to fill their emptiness, and maybe this was your life too. But you know what, the lives of the Saints who are so poor that have changes millions lives over the centuries through their simplicity and love for God is my mirror. So I dont worry anymore if I am not listen to, anyway, this is not just my work but Jesus.
Hope in God makes you feel not so stress after working so hard during the day, weeks, months and years, then before you know it, your body is now frail and getting old and soon you are close to leave this world and everything we work so hard for, will just be behind us. But when we have that hope in God, that after we leave earth, there is this beautiful place called "Heaven" God prepared for us to enjoy, no mortgage and its all for free, a condo for free?!, owesome!; desert, mountains, rivers, sea and forest to roam around for free!... and "we roam and move at will", so no need of cars nor worry of expensive gasoline. I am excited so to leave this earth for that. Eternal rest with God, is my very hope to attain. To think about this is already PEACE of my soul. What's yours?
PS. My life is a witness. Jesus LOVES YOU SO MUCH! So come and love Him back! You will not regret you do.
